Inner Work: Is It Really Work?
Society has us hardwired to believe that exploring our inner emotional worlds should be reserved for those who are sick—depressed, anxious, addicted, despondent, mysteriously ill with diagnoses like chronic fatigue or fibromyalgia… Do you see where I’m going?
This could not be further from the truth. To think that we don’t have repressed emotions and stuck behavioral patterns that could be investigated in ourselves just because our minds and bodies aren’t currently screaming at us is likely shortsighted. To believe that we’re as healthy as we can be simply because we don’t have any nagging symptoms (with the exception of a few exceptionally grounded humans) is to discount our ability to live truly magical lives!
I’m no longer “sick.” In fact, I’m healthier in mind, body, and spirit than I have been my entire adult life. Yet… I sit with my emotions. I notice the sensations of my body and stay with them, no matter how uncomfortable. I investigate my triggers and constantly observe my thoughts. I do this because I feel pulled to, not because I’m struggling to keep my head above water and feel that there’s no other option. I do this “work,” which I prefer to think of as a set of ever-evolving practices, daily. Not because my life depends on it, but because, well, my life does depend on it!
I want to live a life of freedom and immense joy. I want the felt experience of all my emotions—”good” and “bad".” I want to live an embodied existence. I want life to flow through me and learn to perceive it from a heart-centered (instead of mind-centric) place as much as possible. That’s the new life I want to continue creating for myself.
I wish others would feel empowered to investigate their long-standing beliefs about psychotherapy in any of its many forms so that they can experience the freedom that comes along with entering this magical realm of heart-centered living. I promise that diving into this emotional journey—facing yourself and your soul—is so totally worth the bumpy ride.
what do these practices look like?
The simplest practice is to notice the breath. That’s it.
The vast majority of us ignore our breathing. After all, it’s an automatic function of our nervous systems. The body is going to breathe for us whether or not we’re mindful of how it’s done. The problem is when we’re in a hypervigilant state (which is a more common state than many realize nowadays) our breathing becomes shallow. Shallow breath equals fight-or-flight. Fight-or-flight is when the autonomic nervous system is tipped in favor of the sympathetic branch—the state in which our bodies are prepared to protect our lives at all costs. Muscles are tight, adrenaline is flowing, heartbeat is pumping hard. And… our immune function, digestive organs, and a plethora of vital bodily functions are essentially put on hold while we gear up to fight the proverbial tiger endangering our lives.
So what do we do when we notice that we’re barely inhaling enough oxygen to fill a quarter of our lungs? Pause and breathe. Close your eyes, imagine the next intake of air completely filling your lungs, hold it for a moment, and then exhale fully and peacefully. Notice your shoulders relax, your heart soften, and your mind settle. Repeat. Repeat again. And begin to make this a habit throughout your day (calendar reminders and apps make this sort of thing fairly easy).
What else? This website is filled with various mind-body practices that were instrumental in my healing and have helped numerous clients. These tools paved the way for me to slowly and safely explore the deep emotional “work” needed to heal. Here are a few to get you started:
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