The Kids and The Cactus

I was cleaning up my hard drive over the weekend and came across this story told by my then 11-year-old son. Couldn’t resist posting it…

There once was a seed. It sat buried beneath the dirt covered by the warmth of the sun and the occasional bathing of the rain. It grew and it grew. As the young stem began to peek gently above the surface of the earth, a group of kids wandered by. One in particular, with a certain lack of self-love that day, decided it would make him cool and powerful to smack the little sprouting plant. Shortly thereafter, the others joined him in this abuse of the innocent young stem. As the taunting continued over time, the plant began to develop a coat of armor to protect himself. Instead of soft leaves, he sprouted thorns and prickles. He learned to fight back, and his thorns wounded the seemingly heartless kids. And they all got hurt. And the powerful boy felt terrible for causing everyone so much pain.

Photo by Denisse Leon on Unsplash

The boy imagined what could have happened had he taken another path. He envisioned a little seed buried beneath the dirt covered by the warmth of the sun and the occasional bathing of the rain. It grew and it grew. As the young stem began to peek gently above the surface of the earth, a group of kids wandered by. One in particular, with a certain abundance of self-love that day, decided he would spread his love by feeding the innocent young stem from his water bottle. The others joined him in this act of love and compassion. As they continued to care for the little plant it began to develop soft leaves, fragrant flowers, and apples to reflect this love back to the kids. And they all enjoyed the sweet fruit. And the loving boy felt peaceful for bringing everyone so much joy.

Photo by Fumiaki Hayashi on Unsplash

This story is the parable that came pouring from my son’s lips following a fight with his younger brother one day about six years ago. He tends to carry the heavy weight of unnecessary guilt (you can imagine it’s something we’re working through). In case you didn’t pick up on it, my son was the leader of the kids and his younger brother the cactus. The rest of the family felt the pain of the prickles as he spiraled into a tornado of anger, lashing out at those around him. 

Learning to forgive ourselves by understanding that “mistakes” are simply part of the shared human experience gives us the strength to move forward in peace.

I helped (and continue to help) my son understand the power of self-love so that scenarios like this more often take the second path—the one filled with love and compassion. But we’re all human. We all lose our way and lash out at others in misguided attempts to boost ourselves. And that’s okay. Guilt and self-judgment are not the paths to freedom from our mistakes. Self-love and self-compassion are. Learning to forgive ourselves by understanding that “mistakes” are merely part of the shared human experience gives us the strength to move forward in peace. 

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