The Trouble with Weekends
What I typically look forward to as the weekend approaches nowadays…
- Getting up late Saturday morning, but still having the house all to myself for at least an hour while everyone else sleeps in even later.
- Cooking a big family breakfast
- Taking a long morning walk with our dog
- Watching my son completely immerse himself in his soccer game - celebrating his victories and supporting him in his defeats
- Taking a family trip to the Halloween store to pick out our coordinating costumes (a tradition that’s still going strong!)
- Allowing the rest of the weekend to unfold as it may
Weekends are AWESOME!
But, I have to admit it. I used to HATE weekends. For that matter, I used to hate summer vacation as well. I’m just going to put it all out there… My absolute favorite time of day used to be the moment I dropped my kids off at the bus stop Monday through Friday. I was given the gift of 6 or 7 glorious hours all to myself - to go back to sleep, to visit any one of a bazillion holistic practitioners, to spend hours consulting Dr. Google about my latest symptoms… Most of all, though, I was free from struggling to be someone I wasn’t. I didn’t have to put on a brave face. I didn’t have to push through the fatigue or the pain or the brain fog to do all the stuff that society expected of me. I could hide in my safe little bubble and shut out the world - for a few hours at least.
Image courtesy of realwomen1.com
Then the weekends would inevitably come and the gig was up. Not only did I have to attempt be in full “mom/wife/friend/neighbor” mode for 48 long hours, but I had to watch as everyone around me enjoyed living their life while it was evident that I was watching mine pass me by.
Morning breakfasts weren’t fun and relaxing. They were simply a chore. Watching everyone else eat all the traditional foods I once savored while I tried to create grain-free, dairy-free, egg-free, FODMAP-free, nightshade-free, nut-free, TASTE-free meals that I could choke down was pretty miserable. Taking long morning walks wasn’t even a consideration. Finding the strength to walk up the stairs felt like a marathon. Fighting the traffic, crowds and heat at sports games definitely wasn’t on my radar (and so many memorable childhood moments were missed). Halloween costumes were purchased online because a store like that would undoubtedly lead to sensory overload and the cascade of symptoms that come along with it. You get it. Weekends sucked.
Now that I’ve healed, though, I’m able to truly enjoy this time with family and friends once again. And it’s not only weekends. I look forward to picking my kids up after school and spending precious time with them every day of the week now. I ENJOY the busy afternoons again! I still love my 6-7 hours of “freedom” during the day (I am human after all!), but not so that I can hide from the world. I now get to spend that time creating whatever I want for my life. And it’s glorious.
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