Where Are You Giving Away Your Power?
Are you feeding yourself from within or seeking approval and love externally in an effort to feel nourished? Do you allow others to define who you are and who you're not? Do you waste time and energy worrying about what others think of you?
We all do it to a certain extent. It's basic human nature. The goal, however, is to value ourselves from a place of authenticity, restoring the energy needlessly wasted on striving to create a facade for others.
I've been an entrepreneur for over 12 years. After allowing corporate America to wear me down and to begin to create dis-ease within me, I decided it was time to find another way to contribute to the family income. This time around I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself for a paycheck. I was convinced that I could have a career that would nourish me AND provide income for our family. I had given away my power to company sales quotas and customer approval. How they viewed me became more important than how I viewed myself. I allowed their vision of Carrie to define me.
Fast forward 3-4 years and I was happily making money in a job that fueled me creatively. I loved building a business selling something I was passionate about. Graphic design is in my blood. I come from a legacy of artistic women - an actress/painter grandmother, an interior designer mother, a sculptor aunt, a pulitzer prize winning photographer cousin. The analytical mind I had always clung to had worn thin and exploring this side of me was liberating. Stationery design became my hobby AND my job. It was fantastic!
That is, until I got a corporate contract… and old habits resurfaced. The love of graphic design that had been giving me so much inner pleasure began to give way to the strong pull of external gratification. Suddenly I was making really good money. The adoration I received from my husband, along with the respect I felt like I was receiving from "everybody" else for "making it big" in my little self-launched business, became my power. Money became my power. Instead of finding nourishment in this alignment with my purpose and craft, I was allowing money and "respect" from others to validate that I was worth it.
Needless to say, it only took a few years of this almost manic desire to please everyone else that I burned out. This time dis-ease knocked me down so far that I had no choice but to listen.
After several years of recovery I'm back up again and stronger than ever. This time, as I've built my health & wellness business, I've been mindful of the source of my power every step of the way. I continue to check in daily to make sure that the work I do comes from a truly authentic place. My desire to help others cannot be overshadowed by an ego-driven need to gain esteem or make lots of money or prove anything to anyone outside of me. This place of standing in my power feels good. It feels really really good.
It's not always possible to simply leave a job that doesn't bring us joy. I understand that. What we can do, though, is catch ourselves in patterns of making it what it is. Or to say it differently, stop sabotaging our circumstances and make it our job to create an environment that is tolerable, and even fun at times.
If you find yourself in this position, consider redefining how you do your job and craft it in a way that is more fulfilling. This may entail taking on responsibilities that go beyond your job description if they make you happy, are meaningful, and light you up. So what? Wouldn't you rather be happy than miserable? These turtle steps will have profound impacts over time. As you live more authentically others cannot help but feel your light.
THIS WEEK: I invite you to explore where you may be giving away your power. We often do so in many areas of our life - in our jobs, in our marriages, in our friendships. The first step to finding your authentic self is to simply become aware of where you're keeping up the illusion of being somebody else to suit the outside world.
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