The Magic of Loving Yourself First

If I can’t be superwoman for my family then how can I really be there for them? How can I insure that I’m doing everything possible to raise my children (or grandchildren) in a loving and supportive environment in the midst of my dis-ease? What does this look like? 
 
I know what it doesn’t look like. It doesn’t look like giving and giving and giving at the expense of yourself, only to end up playing the martyr. Been there. Done that. It didn’t feel so good. 
 
It starts with knowing who you are and loving yourself, unconditionally. As you begin to realign with who you really are and feel at peace with yourself, those around you will sense this in you. Our children learn from our example. Isn’t self-love the best lesson we can teach them? I love this quote from Naomi Wolf, 

"A mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem."

I’ve noticed a shift in my family recently. For awhile there, my youngest son, an inherently vibrant and theatrical boy, seemed to plead for my attention. “Mom, watch me play my game.” “Mom, look over here, I have a goofy dance.” While it’s not uncommon to want to interact, I could feel a difference between his happy-go-lucky conversations and escapades and the ones in which he was coming up with anything he could think of to feel the love from me that I obviously wasn’t giving to myself. I could “interact” with him at those times without being present and he could sense my vacancy, hence the continued pleas for attention.

Just this week, however, he asked if he could tell me all about his latest Pokemon Go adventures. This interests me about as much as watching paint dry. I’m in a good place now, though, so I didn’t feel guilted into trying to give him my half-hearted attention while he piled on the antics in an effort to extract that love from me. Instead, I gave him my brief, but present attention and let him know that Pokemon is just not my thing. My response came from a place of love, love for myself and love for him, and he could feel that. It was everything he needed in that moment.

THIS WEEK: Continue to practice putting yourself first (mind, body and spirit) and fostering self-love. As you do this, notice as those around you begin to sense this peace. 

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