The problem with being busy

Modern day society values hard work. Most of us are brought up to believe that success can only arise out of blood, sweat and tears. That’s how we can become the best versions of ourselves. That’s how we can accomplish greatness. That’s how we can be happy. 

Problem is, all this hard work, or being busy, actually distracts us from being happy! 

Decade after exhausting decade I continued to push and fight and strive for success. Yeah sure, I got good grades in school. I went to a good college. I landed the respectable job. I thrived as an entrepreneur. I won! … I won? What did I win exactly? I guess you could say I won some sort of race to success. I had everything that we’re supposed to wish for - the house, the family, the career. 

But just before my health plummeted I came to the realization that I wasn’t truly happy and I didn’t have a clue how to be.  

Every time I achieved something noteworthy I felt a wave of satisfaction that would last a day at best. Then I would simply go back to the fighting and striving to achieve the next level of success so that I could feel that fleeting sense of accomplishment again. There was no continuity. It was almost as if I was chasing my own tail. I would touch the tip, slightly satisfied, and then continue to run in circles, unable to find that happiness I was seeking.

So how does this hard work and busyness talk relate to illness? In more ways than one! For today, though, I’ll start with focusing on the opposite of busyness - REST. 

In the beginning my ailing body forced me to rest. My resistance increased the need for this rest. The body wants to heal. I may have been stubborn, but it wasn’t about to give up on me until I got the message. Five years later (and infinitely wiser), I now understand that rest was the direct path to happiness. The more I embrace the moments of stillness and calm, the more I’m able to realize the beauty of what’s in front of me in the moment. 

The best version of myself isn’t achieved by hard work and effort. She’s simply there inside of me, patiently waiting to be released as soon as I get out of my own way and let her out to play.

THIS WEEK: Think about areas in your life where you may be striving - mentally, emotionally and/or physically. How can you begin to create some space for calm here? Just noticing the over-efforting and allowing yourself the gift of a deep breath is a great place to start.