What's Your Story?
We live in our narrative, our story, our paradigm. Mark Twain said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
Our inner story is based on ruminations of the past and fears about what could happen in the future. It’s real, but it’s not true. The story playing in our head and the emotions that go along with it are very real, but our idea is not true. It’s simply our small perspective that’s part of a much larger truth. Understanding story vs phenomenon or narrative vs fact can liberate you from the self-fulfilling loop of chronic stress - this loop that perpetuates dis-ease. From this place of liberation you can begin to see the bigger picture.
Let me explain…
My Story: I was always a Type A high achiever. Self-starter. Perfectionist. Warrior. I was told that I had the energy of three people. One day that energy all but disappeared. A simple respiratory virus seemed to be my catalyst into a 5 year battle with one mystery disease after another. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia were just the start. I could barely take care of myself, much less my kids. I went from super mom to my family’s baggage. I became a burden to everyone around me. No practitioner, mainstream or integrative, could give me the answers I needed. I woke up each day wondering how I would physically and mentally get by. I feared a future of isolation and how this new version of me would impact my kids long-term.
Do you see where this is going? My “story” focused largely on what happened in the past and what I feared would happen in the future. I mourned the loss of my energetic pre-illness self, embellishing and enhancing the narrative every time I replayed it in my head. I continued to identify with a multitude of illness labels that may or may not have been affecting me on any given day. I convinced myself I was a burden, and worse, was ruining my children’s futures.
This is how I perceived my state of illness. The emotional toll was unbearable at times. Much of this turmoil was brought on by the stories endlessly playing out in my head. Which brings me to the facts…
Phenomenon: I began to have more pain and less energy than before. I had new food reactions.
That's pretty much it. Everything else from my story was a conclusion, comparison, interpretation or opinion. This awareness was HUGE for me. Without all the narrative details, my illness was reduced to some very basic facts. I’m not saying it wasn’t a VERY difficult time in my life. It most definitely was! I’m just demonstrating how observing your thoughts in this way can lead to a sense of relief, no matter how large or small. The story in and of itself can be EXHAUSTING!
Dissolving the narrative is the first step to seeing the wisdom in a much larger truth.
THIS WEEK: Investigate your story. How much is fact and how much is your narrative? What is really left when you whittle it down to just what actually happened?
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